The Journal of Mr. John Nelson

John Nelson

When I was between nine and ten years old, I was horribly terrified with the thoughts of death and judgment, whenever I was alone. One Sunday night, as I sat on the ground by the side of my father’s chair, when he was reading the twentieth chapter of the Revelation, the word came with such light and power to my soul, that it made me tremble, as if a dart were shot at my heart. I fell with my face on the floor, and wept till the place was as wet, where I lay, as if water had been poured thereon. As my father proceeded, I thought I saw every thing he read about, though my eyes were shut; and the sight was so terrible, I was about to stop my ears, that I might not hear, but I durst not: as soon as I put my fingers in my ears, I pulled them back again. When he came to the eleventh verse, the words made me cringe, and my flesh seemed to creep on my bones, while he read, “And I saw a great white throne, and Him that sat thereon, from whose face the heavens and the earth fled away, and there was found no place for them: and I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God, and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things that were written in the books, according to their works.” O what a scene was opened to my mind! It was as if I had seen the Lord Jesus Christ sitting on his throne, with the twelve Apostles below him; and a large book open at his left hand: and as it were a bar fixed about ten paces from the throne, to which the children of Adam came up; and every one, as he approached, opened his breast, as quick as a man could open the bosom of his shirt. On one leaf of the book was written the character of the children of God; and on the other, the character of those that should not enter into the kingdom of heaven. I thought, neither the Lord nor the Apostles said any thing; but every soul, as he came up to the bar, compared his conscience with the book, and went away to his own place, either singing or else crying and howling. Those that went to the right hand were but like the stream of a small brook; but the others were like the flowing of a mighty river.

God had followed me with convictions ever since I was ten years old; and whenever I had committed any known sin, either against God or man, I used to be so terrified afterwards, that I shed many tears in private: yet when I came to my companions, I wiped my face, and went on again in sin and folly. But, O! the hell I found in my mind when I came to be alone again; and what resolutions I made! Nevertheless, when temptations came, my resolutions were as a thread of tow that had touched the fire.

When I was about sixteen, I heard a sermon in our own church, which deprived me of rest in the night; nor durst I sin as I had done before for many days. But, alas! I looked the wrong way; for I watched those that were older and more learned than myself; and what they did, I thought I might safely do: so I turned back to sin and folly. O what evil do the old and learned do to those who are young and unlearned! When their lives are corrupt, they are certainly the most accursed beings on the earth. How many times has their example hardened my heart, and encouraged me in the broad way! Surely they are a curse to their own children and servants, as well as to their ignorant and unlearned neighbours.

When I was turned a little of sixteen, my father was taken ill, which I thought was for my wickedness: yet at that time, vile as I was, I prayed earnestly that God would spare him for the sake of my mother and the young children, and let me die in his stead; but the Lord would not regard my prayer. Three days before he died, he said to my mother, “Trouble not thyself for me; for I know that my peace is made with God, and he will provide for thee and the children.” I was greatly surprised at his words, wondering how he could know his peace was made with God.

In one of my times of trouble I was in a stable, and, falling into a slumber, I dreamed I prayed that God would make me happy. But I thought, “What will make me happy?” I also dreamed that I beheld Jeremiah the Prophet, standing on a large rock, at the west gate of Jerusalem. His countenance was grave, and with great authority he reproved the Elders and Magistrates of the city; for which they were enraged, and, pulling him down, cast him on a dunghill where the butchers poured forth the blood of their slain beasts: and I imagined I saw them tread him under their feet; but his countenance never changed, neither did he cease to cry out, “Thus saith the Lord, If ye will not repent and give glory to my name, I will bring destruction on you and your city.” He seemed so composed and so happy while he lay on the dunghill, and while they were treading him under their feet, that I said in my dream, “O God! make me like Jeremiah!” and, though it was but a dream, it left as great an impression on me, as if I had seen it with my eyes. And since then, thou, Lord, hast, in a small measure, given me to taste of his cup.

When I was about nineteen, I found myself in great danger of falling into scandalous sins; and I prayed, I believe, twenty times, that God would preserve me, and give me a wife, that I might live with her to his glory. He heard my prayer, and delivered me out of many dangerous temptations; for which I praise his holy name.

The first time I ever saw my wife was at Tonge, where I was going to build the new church. I did not know who she was, nor where she came from; but at first sight, I said in my mind, “That is the woman I asked of God in prayer;” and I fully determined, if I got married, I would live to his glory. But what are resolutions when made in our own strength! For, though I believe God gave me the most suitable wife that I could have had, in every respect; yet, for some years after we were marred, I did not live to his glory, for I loved pleasure more than God: yet many times when I had been shooting a whole day, and had got the creatures I pursued, I was quite unhappy, and ready to break my gun in pieces, resolving never to shoot or hunt any more. At last I said to my wife, “I am determined to leave off this course of life; yet it is impossible, if I stay here: therefore, if thou art free, I will go to Sir Rowland Wynn’s, and see if I can get business there; if not, I will go somewhere else, at a distance from home.” To this she gladly consented.

On Monday morning we parted in great love, praying one for the other. As I went from our town, I made use of Jacob’s words, which he spake to the Lord as he went to Padan-aram; and the Lord blessed me in all my journey. I found work at Newark-on Trent, and stayed about a month. All that time the hand of God was upon me, by convicting me of my former sins; so that the sense of his wrath being justly kindled against me, made me cry to him for mercy, often forty times in the day. Then I went to London, and got into business the day I arrived there. Here my concern for salvation increased for some time, and I continued to read and pray when I had done my work, refusing all company; and I believe, if I had had some one to show me the way, I should have closed in with the Lord in a saving manner. But I looked at men for example, and fell from my seriousness. The workmen cursed and abused me, because I would not drink with them, and spend my money as they did. I bore many insults from them, without opening my mouth to speak to them again. But when they took my tools from me, and said, if I would not drink with them, I should not work while they were drinking; that provoked me, so that I fought with several of them: then they let me alone. But that stifled my concern for salvation; and I left off prayer and reading in a great measure. I stayed better than half a year, and had not one hour’s sickness, nor did I want one day’s work all that time; so that by my hand-labour, I cleared, besides maintaining myself, twelve pounds, fifteen shillings.

When I came home, I fell into my former course. I said to my wife, “I cannot live here.” So I set off for London again, ordering her to follow me in the wagon. We both got well there, and lived in a good way, as the world calls it; that is, in peace and plenty, and love to each other.

After some time, I bad a sore fit of illness: then my conscience was alarmed, and I expected to die, and perish body and soul in hell. O the distress I was in! not through fear of death, so much as of the judgment that should follow. But the Lord rebuked the fever, and restored me to perfect health.

After residing some years in London, my wife had not her health; therefore we agreed that she should take our two children and go into the country, and I would follow at a certain season; which accordingly I did. But I could not rest night or day: I said, “I must go to London again.” Several asked me, “Why I would go again, since I might live at home as well as any where in the world?” My answer was, “I have something to learn that I have not yet learned” but I did not know that it was the great lesson of love to God and man. When I got there, I fell to work presently, and all things prospered that I pursued. I then began to consider what I wanted to make me happy; for I was yet as a man in a barren wilderness, that could find no way out.

I said to myself. “What can I desire that I have not? I enjoy as good health as any man can do; I have as agreeable a wife as I can wish for; I am clothed as well as I can desire; I have, at present, more gold and silver than I have need of; yet still I keep wandering from one part of the kingdom to another, seeking rest, and cannot find it.” Then I cried out, “O that I had been a cow, or a sheep!” for I looked back to see bow I had spent above thirty years; and thought, rather than live thirty years more so, I would choose strangling. But when I considered, that, after such a troublesome life, I must give an account before God of the deeds done in the body, who knew all my thoughts, words, and actions, I cried out, “O that I had never been born!” for I feared my day of grace was over, because I had made so many resolutions and broken them all. Yet I thought I would set out once more; for I said, “Surely, God never made man to be such a riddle to himself, and to leave him so: there must be something in religion, that I am unacquainted with, to satisfy the empty mind of man; or he is in a worse state than the beasts that perish.” In all these troubles I had none to open my mind to; so I wandered up and down in the fields, when I had done my work, meditating what course to take to save my soul.

I went from church to church, but found no ease. One Minister at St. Paul’s preached about man doing his duty to God and his neighbour, and when such came to lie upon a death-bed, what joy they would find in their own breast, by looking back on their well-spent life. But that sermon had like to have destroyed my soul; for I looked back, and could not see one day in all my life, wherein I had not left undone something which I ought to have done, and wherein I had not done many things wrong: and I was so far from having a well-spent life to reflect upon, that I saw, if one day well-spent would save my soul, I must be damned for ever. O what a stab was that sermon to my wounded soul! It made me wish my mother’s womb had been my grave. After that, I heard another sermon, wherein the Preacher summed up all the Christian duties; but he said, “Man, since the fall, could not perfectly fulfil the will of his Maker; but God required him to do all he could, and Christ would make out the rest: but if man did not do all he could, he must unavoidably perish; for he had no right to expect any interest in the merits of Christ, if he had not fulfilled his part, and done all that lay in his power.” Then I thought, “Not only I, but every soul must be damned” for I did not believe that any who had lived to years of maturity had done all they could, and avoided all the evil they might. Therefore, I concluded that none could be saved but little children. O what deadly physic was that sort of doctrine to my poor sin-sick soul!

I thought I would try others; and went to hear Dissenters of divers denominations; but to no purpose. I went to the Roman Catholics, but was soon surfeited with their way of worship. Then I went to the Quakers, and prayed that God would not suffer the blind to go out of the way, but join me to the people that worshipped him in spirit and in truth: I cared not what they were called, nor what I suffered upon earth, so that my soul might be saved at last. I believe I heard them every Sunday for three months: what made me continue so long was, the expectation of some help by hearing them; for there was one, almost at my first going, that spoke something that nearly suited the state my soul was in but he showed no remedy. I had now tried all but the Jews, and I thought it was to no purpose to go to them; so I thought I would go to church, and read and pray, whether I perish or not. But I was amazed, when I came to join in the Morning Prayer, to see that I had mocked my Maker all my days, by praying for things I did not expect or desire: then I thought none could be so ignorant as I bad been, nor so base, to draw near to God with their lips while their hearts were so far from him.

In the spring Mr. Whitefield came into Moorfields, and I went to hear him. He was to me as a man who could play well on an instrument; for his preaching was pleasant to me, and I loved the man; so that if any one offered to disturb him, I was ready to fight for him. But I did not understand him, though I might hear him twenty times for aught I know. Yet I got some hope of mercy; so that I was encouraged to pray on, and spend my leisure hours in reading the Scriptures. Sometimes, as I was reading, I thought, “If what I read is true, and if none are Christians, but such as St. John and St. Paul describe to be God’s people, I do not know any person that is a Christian either in town or country.” I said, “If things be so, I am no more a Christian than the devil;” and my hope of ever being one was very small. In this struggle I had but little sleep: if I slept four hours out of twenty-four, I thought it a great deal. Sometimes I started, as if I was falling into some horrible place. At other times I dreamed that I was fighting with Satan; and when I awoke, I was sweating, and as fatigued as if I had really been fighting. Yet all this time I was as capable of working, both in understanding and strength, as ever I was in my life; and this was an encouragement to me. In all this time I did not open my mind to any person, either by word or letter; but I was like a wandering bird, cast out of the nest, till Mr. John Wesley came to preach his first sermon in Moorfields. O that was a blessed morning to my soul! As soon as he got upon the stand, he stroked back his hair, and turned his face towards where I stood, and I thought fixed his eyes upon me. His countenance struck such an awful dread upon me, before I heard him speak, that it made my heart beat like the pendulum of a clock; and, when he did speak, I thought his whole discourse was aimed at me. When he had done, I said, “This man can tell the secrets of my heart: he hath not left me there; for he hath showed the remedy, even the blood of Jesus.” Then was my soul filled with consolation, through hope that God for Christ’s sake would save me; neither did I doubt in such a manner any more, till within twenty-four hours of the time when the Lord wrought a pardon on my heart. Though it was a little after Midsummer that I heard him, and it was three weeks after Michaelmas before I found the true peace of God, yet I continued to hear as often as I could, without neglecting my work. I had many lashes of love under the word, when I was at private prayer, and at the table of the Lord; but they were short, and often some sore temptations followed.

Now all my acquaintance set upon me, to persuade me not to go too far in religion, lest it should unfit me for my business, and so bring poverty and distress on my family: they said, “We wish you had never heard Mr. Wesley, for we are afraid it will be the ruin of you.” I told them, “I had reason to bless God that ever he was born, for by hearing him I was made sensible that my business in this world is to get well out of it; and as for my trade, health, wisdom, and all things in this world, they are no blessings to me, any farther than as so many instruments to help me, by the grace of God, to work out my salvation.” Then they said, they were very sorry for me, and should be glad to knock Mr. Wesley’s brains out; for he would be the ruin of many families, if he were allowed to live, and go on as he did. Some of them said they would not hear him preach for fifty pounds. But I told them I had reason to bless God that ever I heard him, and I intended to hear him as often as I could, for I believed him to be God’s messenger; and if I did not seek to be born again, and experience a spiritual birth, I could not enter into the kingdom of heaven, which was the doctrine he preached.

A little after Michaelmas, I had many trials again, and passion got advantage over me: they thought it was to no purpose for me to strive any longer; for every one endeavoured to provoke me, and I could not bear it. About this time, I was going out of the Park into Westminster, where was a soldier with his arms about him, as he was coming from guard, who began to talk to some other soldiers and a company of Welsh women. I was but a few paces from him: the tenor of his discourse was as follows: “ You know what manner of man I was some months ago; and none of you pitied me then, though I was going headlong to the devil; for I was a drunkard and a swearer, I was a whoremonger and a fighter, a sabbath-breaker and a gamester; nay I know no sin but I was guilty of it, either in word or deed; so that it is a miracle that my neck was not brought to the gallows, and my soul sent to hell long ago. At that time I durst not think of death; for I had no reason to think of aught but hell. I was therefore desperate in wickedness, and did not put a restraint on any lust or appetite: till one day, as I was coming out of the country by Kennington Common, Mr. John Wesley was going to preach, and I thought I would hear what he had to say; for I had heard many learned and wise men say, he was beside himself. But when he began to speak, his words made me tremble. I thought he spoke to no one but me, and I durst not look up, for I imagined all the people were looking at me. I was ashamed to show my face, expecting God would make me a public example, either by letting the earth open and swallow me up, or by striking me dead. But before Mr. Wesley concluded his sermon, he cried out, ‘Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.’ I said, ‘If that be true, I will turn to God to-day.’ I immediately went home, and began to read and pray, keeping out of bad company for about a fortnight, and hearing Mr. Wesley as often as I could. But my old companions missed me, and came to see what was the matter. When they found me reading the Bible, they cursed and swore, and dragged me away to an ale-house, where I sat down, and began to reason with them. But, O, how dangerous is it to encounter Satan on his own ground! for, as I talked, I began to drink a little; and the liquor getting into my head, I quarrelled with them and fought; and as I was going to my quarters, a lewd woman met me, and I had no power to resist her, and was again taken captive by the devil. Nevertheless, when I had slept, I was so terrified, I thought I never durst pray any more, or expect mercy. I was determined, however, to hear Mr. Charles Wesley that night; and by his preaching, I had some hopes that my day of grace was not over. Then I began to pray again, and read the Scriptures; and one Sunday morning, I called at Whitehall Chapel, where the sacrament was going to be delivered. I went to the table with trembling limbs and a heavy heart; but no sooner had I received, than I found power to believe that Jesus Christ had shed his blood for me, and that God, for his sake, had forgiven my offences. Then was my heart filled with love to God and man; and since then sin hath not had dominion over me.”

These sayings of the soldier were a blessing to me; for they sank deep into my mind, and made me cry, more earnestly, that God would work the same change in my heart. I found my soul much refreshed at the sacrament on the Sunday after, and mightily encouraged under Mr. Wesley’s sermon in the afternoon. All the week after I felt an awful sense of God resting upon me; and I had a great watchfulness over my words, and several short visits of love, having great hope that I had got complete victory over my besetting sin. But passion was yet too strong for me; for that night I fell again, and cried out immediately, “I am undone ; I have lost all hopes of mercy.” All the night I was as if I had been given up to Satan. In the morning, one prayed with me, but I found no answer; for my heart was as hard as a rock.

When I went back to my lodging at noon, dinner was ready; and the gentlewoman said, “Come, sit down: you have need of your dinner, for you have eaten nothing to-day.” But when I looked on the meat, I said, “Shall such a wretch as I devour the good creatures of God, in the state I am now in! No, I deserve to be thrust into hell.” I then went into my chamber, shut the door, and fell down on my knees, crying, “Lord, save, or I perish!” When I had prayed till I could pray no more, I got up and walked to and fro, being resolved I would neither eat nor drink, till I had found the kingdom of God. I fell down to prayer again, but found no relief; got up and walked again; then tears began to flow from my eyes, like great drops of rain, and I fell on my knees a third time; but now I was as dumb as a beast, and could not put up one petition, if it would have saved my soul. I kneeled before the Lord some time; and saw myself a criminal before the Judge: then I said, “Lord, thy will be done: damn or save!” That moment Jesus Christ was as evidently set before the eye of my mind, as crucified for my sins, as if I had seen him with my bodily eyes; and in that instant my heart was set at liberty from guilt and tormenting fear, and filled with a calm and serene peace. I could then say without any dread or fear, “Thou art my Lord, and my God.” Now did I begin to sing that part of the 12th chapter of Isaiah, “O Lord, I will praise thee: though thou wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortest me. Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.” My heart was filled with love to God and every soul of man: next to my wife and children, my mother, brethren, and sisters, my greatest enemies had an interest in my prayers; and I cried, “O Lord, give me to see my desire on them: let them experience thy redeeming love!”

In the afternoon I opened the book where it is said, “Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,” &c.; with which I was so affected, that I could not read for weeping. That evening, under Mr. Wesley’s sermon, I could do nothing but weep, and love, and praise God, for sending his servant into the fields to show me the way of salvation. All that day I neither ate nor drank any thing; for before I found peace, the hand of God was so heavy upon me, that I refused to eat; and after I had found peace, I was so filled with the manna of redeeming love that I had no need of the bread that perisheth for that season.

At night, when I came home, the gentlewoman of the house where I had lodged a long time, told me to provide a lodging; for I must stay there no longer than that one night, since her husband was afraid some mischief would come either on them or me, with so much praying and fuss as I had made about religion. I told them I would come on Wednesday night, and pay what I owed them, and fetch my clothes away, praying that God might reward them for the kindness they had showed me: for I had had a fever in the house; and no one could show more compassion to a stranger than they did to me at that time.

On Wednesday night, according to my promise, I went to my old lodging, and paid what I owed, and got my clothes ready to bring away. But having forgotten something, I stepped back into the room to look for it. In he mean time, the man said to his wife, ‘Suppose John should be right, and we wrong, it will be a sad thing to turn him out of doors.” When I came down, the woman stood at the door, and said, “You shall not go out of this house tonight.” I said, “ What, will you neither let me go nor stay?” She replied, ‘My husband is not willing you should go: for he saith, if God has done any thing more for you than for us he would have you show us how we may find the same mercy.” So I sat down with them, and told them of God’s dealings with my soul, and prayed with them. Soon after, they both went to hear Mr. Wesley, when the woman was made a partaker of the same grace; and I hope to meet them both in heaven.

On the Saturday following, the dragon stood ready to devour my new-born soul; for my master’s chief foreman came to me, saying, “John Nelson, you must look after such and such men to-morrow: there is a piece of work to be done with all speed; for the Lords of the Exchequer will be here on a particular day, by which time it must be completed.” “Sir,” I replied, “you have forgotten yourself: to-morrow is the Sabbath.” He said he knew that as well as I; but the King’s business required haste, and it was common to work on the Sunday for His Majesty, when any thing was upon the finish. I told him I would not work upon the Sabbath for any man in England, except it was to quench fire, or something that required the same immediate help. He said, “Religion has made you a rebel against the King.” I answered, “No, Sir; it has made me a better subject than ever I was.” I added, “ The greatest enemies the King has are the sabbath-breakers, swearers, drunkards, and whoremongers; for these pull down God’s judgments upon both King and country.” Then he said, if I would not obey him, I should lose my business. I replied, “I cannot help it: though it may be ten pounds out of my way to be turned out of my work at this time of the year, I will not wilfully offend God; for I had much rather want bread; nay, I would rather see my wife and children beg their bread barefooted to heaven, than ride in a coach to hell.” He swore, if I went on awhile, I should be as mad as Whitefield; and added, “What hast thou done, that thou needest make so much ado about salvation? I always took thee to be as honest a man as any I have in the work, and could have trusted thee with five hundred pounds.” I answered, “So you might, and not have lost one penny by me,” He said, “What, hast thou killed somebody, or committed adultery, that thou art so much afraid of being damned?” I replied, “God takes the will for the deed; and though clear from those acts, I deserve to be damned ten-fold for other crimes; for if I sin wilfully against God, after he hath showed me such mercy, I may expect to have the hottest hell.” He said, “I have a worse opinion of thee now than ever.” I replied, “Master, I have the odds of you; for I have a much worse opinion of myself, than you can have.”

At night, when I went to receive my wages, he asked me if I were still obstinate: I answered, “I am determined not to break the Sabbath; for I will run the hazard of wanting bread here, before I would run the hazard of wanting water hereafter.” He said, “Wesley has made a fool of thee, and thou wilt beggar thy family.” I had a glorious Sabbath the next day; for God blessed my soul wonderfully, both under the word, and at the sacrament.

I went on Monday morning to the Exchequer, to take care of my tools, not expecting to work there any more. But God hath the hearts of all men in his own hand; for he that was so wroth with me on the Saturday, now gave me good words, and bade me set the men to work. From that time he carved better for me than before; neither did he set any man to work on the Sabbath, as he had said he would. So I see it is good to obey God, and cast our care upon Him, who will order all things well; for if we refuse to join with the wicked, it will be a restraint to them.

In the time of my convictions, I never let my wife know of my trouble; but now I could not eat my morsel alone. I therefore wrote to her and all my relations, to seek the same mercy that I had found. However, all I said seemed as idle tales to most of them.

Some weeks after, three gentlemen (professed Deists) fell upon me, and reasoned with me for about an hour but the Lord put such words in my mouth, that made them say, Mr. Wesley had taught me his own lesson, and I was sunk so deep into enthusiasm that I was past recovery. Nevertheless, I see it is bad for weak believers to reason with men of corrupt principles; for after some time the enemy brought their words to my mind, and began to reason with me in this manner: “Suppose Jesus Christ should be an impostor, (as these men say he is,) thou art lost for ever.” O ! the distress I was in for a short time. But I made a stop, and said, “If Jesus Christ be not the Son of God, and my Saviour, I will be damned; for I will have no other.” Then the cloud broke, and my soul was so filled with love, that I thought if all the world, yea, and the devils in hell, were to set on me, they could not make me disbelieve that Jesus Christ is the very and true God, and my Redeemer.

I daily reproved all that sinned in the work where I was; so that none of them would swear in my presence. But having no Christian friend to converse with, I kept close to God in prayer, and read the Bible at all opportunities, and heard one of the Mr. Wesley’s every Sunday, and stirred up many others to hear them. And though I had many trials, I was so kept by the power of God, that nothing disturbed my peace for some time.

Once, however, as I was reading in the Bible, a gentlewoman (that lived in part of the house) brought me a book, and said, “You are often reading the Bible: if you please, I will lend you this book. My mother,” she added, “took delight in reading therein.” I thanked her, and began to read. For some pages it was agreeable to many things I had experienced in the time of conviction; but it was not at all correspondent to my experience, as to my conversion: pleading for sin after conversion, to keep the saints humble, and making God the author of all sin.

Then the enemy began to reason with me, that I ought not to reprove sin any more. From that time, my love began to cool both unto God and man, and my zeal for the salvation of others abated; and though the more I read, the worse I was, yet I was tempted to read it through.

Before I read in that book, I did not know there was a man in the world who held such an opinion; for, in my trials, I believed every threatening in the Bible was against the disobedient, and every promise to those that turn to God. But now I was tempted to think I was safe, do whatever I would. Yet I still prayed, “Lord, let me die, rather than live to sin against thee!”

I had never spoken to Mr. Wesley in my life, nor conversed with an experienced man about religion. I longed to find one to talk with; but I sought in vain, for I could find none.

One time as I was reasoning about what I had read, I opened the Bible on these words, “If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth liberally, and upbraideth not.” I then prayed, “O Lord, what I know not, do thou teach me!” And I thought I would wait upon the Lord in fasting and prayer, till he revealed his will to me; and I did, for several weeks, fast from Thursday night to eight o’clock on Saturday morning, spending the time I was off my work either upon my knees at prayer, or in searching the Scriptures; and before I opened my Bible, I prayed that God would open my understanding to comprehend what I read. I think the first scripture that was applied to me was, “As ye have received the Lord Jesus, so walk in him.” Then I remembered what state my soul was in, when I first received his Spirit in my heart; that it was filled with love to every soul, and I could pray for all my enemies as well as myself; but this book had turned me out of that blessed state, by setting me to reason about opinions that I never heard of in my life, till several weeks after I had received the love of Christ: therefore I said in my mind, “Let it be right or wrong, it is not necessary for salvation: I found the Lord to be my Saviour before I knew there was a man in the world of that opinion; and before I read it, I loved both God and man better than I have done since, and was more useful in reproving and doing good than I am now.” I then prayed that God would give me that simplicity and godly sincerity, that I walked in when he first revealed Christ in my heart. And he answered me in a wonderful manner so that my tongue was loosed to reprove, and my heart again enlarged to pray for every soul of man.

I now went on my way rejoicing for some days; and had so much of the Lord all the day long, that my soul seemed to breathe its life in God as naturally as my body breathed life in the common air. But, one day, I reproved a man for swearing, when he told me he was predestined to it, and did not trouble himself about it at all; for if he were one of the elect he should be saved; but if not, all he could do would not alter God’s decree: so that all I said to him seemed to take no more hold on him, than if I had thrown a leather ball against a rock. I thought God was very good to me, who kept me ignorant of these opinions till I knew my part in the all-atoning blood: for I feared if I had heard such things in. the time of my distress, they would have been the destruction of my body and soul. Yet I durst not say any thing against that opinion, but wished I had some experienced man to converse with about it; for I was brought into heaviness again by reasoning; but, alas I not one could I find.

I still continued to wait on the Lord, with fasting and prayer. One fast-day, being greatly perplexed, I opened the book on these words, “As I live, saith the Lord, I have no pleasure in the death of a sinner.” Then my heart was set at liberty; and I cried out, “Glory be to thee, O Lord! for thou hast given me thy word, and thy Spirit in my heart, to bear witness that thou art no respecter of persons.”

Now I found such a desire for the salvation of souls, that I hired one of the men to go and hear Mr. Wesley preach, who hath since told me, it was the best thing both for him and his wife, that ever man did for them.

All that hard winter, I still fasted from Thursday night to Saturday morning; and gave away the meat that I should have eaten, to the poor, spending my time in praying and reading the Scriptures.

About this time, several came to see me, who, finding me at work, looked at each other like men amazed, and said they were glad to see me so well. I told them, I had not had one day’s sickness for six months. They said “A man that worketh at the Treasury with you, told us, you had been hearing that false prophet, Wesley; and he had made you go mad, and incapable of working.” “Well,” said I, “here is my master: he can testify that I have not lost one day’s work this half year; nor was I ever better able to do any work in all my life. But I have heard Mr. Wesley and have reason to bless God for it; for he is God’s messenger for my good.” Some words that I spoke seemed to stick in them: so that I hope Satan will lose ground by that false and ill-grounded report.

The enemy, however, now came upon me with other temptations, and prepared such instruments to destroy my soul, that I feared I should be overcome, and perish at last; for wherever I went, the snare was laid for me, and my soul was so harassed with my wicked dreams, that I have often awaked and found my pillow wet with tears, after thinking that the enemy would reason with me about some sin I had committed in my dream. But this drove me more to prayer, and showed me my corrupt nature in such a light that I abhorred myself, and thought the Lord never undertook to save one more like the devil in nature than I was: and it was often impressed on my mind, that if I held out to the end, I should have great reason to sing louder in the Redeemer’s praise than any other soul in heaven.

I would fain have known whether any one that had the grace of God in him was tempted day and night as I was; but my business being altogether at the court-end of the town, I had no one Io open my mind to. Then I took up the Bible, and, after praying, happened on these words of St. James: “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of glory, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.”

One night, after a day of fasting, I dreamed that I was in Yorkshire, in my working-clothes, going home; and, as I went by Paul Champion’s, I heard a mighty cry, as of a multitude of people in distress; and I saw, in my dream, the large court behind John Rhodes’s as full of people as they could stand by one another. All on a sudden, they began to scream and tumble one over another. I asked, what was the matter; and they told me, Satan was let loose among them, and begged of me to get out of the way, for he was coming. But I said, “By the grace of God, I will not turn to the right hand or to the left for him.” Then I thought I saw him in the shape of a red bull, running through the people, as a beast runs through the standing corn; yet he did not offer to gore any of them, but made directly at me, as if he would run his horns into my heart. Then I cried out, “Lord, help me!” and immediately caught him by the horns, and twisted him on his back, setting my right foot on his neck, in the presence of a thousand people; and I bade them cry to Jesus, assuring them that what they had seen me do, he would enable them to do. When I awoke, I was in a sweat, and my body was as much fatigued as if I had been at hard labour; but my soul was filled with joy.

A little after this, as I was reading the Scriptures, a letter came to me; I saw it was not from my wife; then I said, “I fear here is bad news.” Upon opening it, I found my daughter was dead, whom I formerly idolized; my son was so ill that his life was despaired of; my wife had fallen from a horse, and was lamed; my father-in-law was dead, and my mother was sick. It then came to my mind, that when I was at the sacrament, I had made a free-will offering to the Lord, of my body and soul, wife and children, and all that was near and dear to me; but I thought, “How shall I bear it, now the Lord has taken them at my hand?” I went to prayer, and found my heart wholly resigned to the will of God. Then it came to me, “Let the dead bury their dead; but follow thou me.” I began to read again, and the people of the house where I was scolded me, because I did not weep, wring my hands, and stamp as they did, at the loss of a child; saying I was a hard-hearted father. I replied, “I cannot tell how to choose what is best: but God cannot err.”

The May following, I was ordered to take some men, and go to Lord Onslow’s, near Guildford, in Surrey, to do a piece of work that would last all summer. This was heavy tidings; for I thought I was but weak in faith, and should be deprived of hearing Mr. Wesley, and have no one to converse with. I desired to be excused; but all in vain. I believe I should have left my master, but I thought it would be unjust to leave him in such a busy time, when he had kept me employed all that hard winter. However, it made me cry to the Lord to go with me, and protect me from both my inward and outward enemies. And he was gracious to me, enabling me to reprove all that sinned in my presence; so that a young gentleman said to some of the men, “Of what religion is your foreman? Is he a Baptist, or is he a Quaker?” They replied, “No, Sir; be is of the Church of England.” He said, “He may tell you so; but he is no Churchman: for we can hardly speak at table, but he is reproving us; and if he say but one word we cannot persuade him to drink a glass more.” I overheard him, though he did not see me ; and said, “Sir, you give a bad character of the Church of England, if you say, a man cannot be a Churchman, that reproves others for cursing and swearing, and refuses to drink to excess.”

One day, the Speaker of the House of Commons came to visit my Lord: and taking a view of the work, he asked me many questions about it, which I answered as well as I could. He said, “This is a fine house, and a fine estate of land about it! But what will it signify? For a piece of land, six feet long and three broad will fit me shortly.” He then fetched a deep sigh, went away, and walked alone among the trees.

While I was at Guildford, I had several conversations with some Baptists. But alas! I their religion lay in notions. I found no true experience amongst them. I reasoned with them about the necessity of the new birth; and contended with many other sects that all religion without the life of Christ manifested in us would profit us nothing at last.

I heard that some, who were called serious people, said I was a dangerous man to converse with; and others shunned my company after I had talked with them. Then I thought, I would leave off reproving and reasoning, for I made myself to be abhorred. I cried out, “ Lord, show me what is thy will in the matter” and then laid me down in great heaviness. That night I dreamed, I saw a tall young person in a white vesture, whose face shone like the sun, standing at the foot of my bed, who said unto me, “Arise, and praise the Lord.” I thought a great light shone round my bed, by which I saw myself defiled from the top of my head to the sole of my foot; and answered, “How can such an unclean creature show forth the praises of God?” Then I thought he showed me a river as clear as crystal, with fine green grass growing at the bottom thereof, in which he bade me wash and be clean. I thought I went at his bidding; and as soon as my feet were dipped in the water, the filth dropped from my whole body; nevertheless, the water was not defiled by it, at which I was surprised. When I came to the middle of the river, it was deeper than I was high, and I knew I could not swim; yet my soul was so filled with the sense of God’s love, that my head was kept above water. I then thought I spread my hands, like a man who is going to swim, and as I laboured to swim, I rose up out of the water, and was carried, as on the wings of an eagle, above the clouds, and cried, “Hosanna to the King of heaven!” And though asleep, I sang so loud, that I awoke the people of the house. I now resolved to reprove again, and seemed to do it with more authority than before; and my words began to stick to some, and cause them to reform their lives.

About Michaelmas, I came back to London; and several that used to attend Mr. Wesley’s preaching, at Kennington-Common and Moorfields, who had also joined with him in the Foundery, came to see me; at which I was surprised, having no correspondence with them, any further than speaking one to another, as we went from place to place to hear him preach. At their first coming, I thought it was the thing I longed for; often wishing that I had some Christian friends to converse with. They said, they heard I was come to town, and the love they bore me made them come to see me. I answered, “I thank you: pray how does my good friend Mr. Wesley do?” They replied, “We do not know: poor dear man, he is wandering in the dark; but we hope our Saviour will open his eyes, and let him see that he is a blind leader of the blind.” Their words were as a sword running through my liver; and made me cry out, “Lord, have mercy upon me! What is the matter with him?” They answered, “Poor dear man, he is under the law, and does not know the privilege of the Gospel himself: therefore he preaches law and works.” I said, “Then he is strangely altered since I left London; for when I was in town, he preached repentance towards God, and faith in our Lord Jesus; teaching the necessity of both as clearly from Scripture as any man in England could, and showing the fruits of faith as plainly as it is possible for any man to do and I found his word to be more blessed to me than any man’s I ever heard in my life.” They told me that I had never heard the Gospel in my life, except I had heard the Brethren that preached in Fetter-Lane; for they were the men that were come to lead people into true stillness.” I said, “What do you mean by true stillness?” They replied, “It is to cease from our own works, such as fasting and prayer, reading the Bible, and running to church and sacrament; and wholly to rely on the blood and wounds of the Lamb.” I said, “I do not know that I ever heard either of the Mr. Wesley’s bid any man trust in prayer, or reading, or going to sacrament, or giving of alms, for salvation, either in whole or in part.” But they answered, “Why doth he teach men to do these things, if they are not to be saved by them?” I replied, “If I understand Mr. Wesley rightly, he only speaks of them as Christ and his Apostles speak of them, that is, to wait in them as a beggar waits for a morsel at a man’s door. I never spoke to Mr. Wesley in my life; therefore, I know not what he believes, any farther than by his preaching.” They told me, that most of the people who had followed him before I left London, had forsaken him, and were become happy sinners now; and wished I would go and hear the Brethren, for Mr. Wesley was only a John Baptist, to go before and prepare them for the Brethren to build up: adding, “If you go to hear him, he will bring you into bondage; and you will never be happy till you are free from the law; for we were never happy till we left him, and went to hear Mr. Molther; and till then we were under the law.” I replied, “Pray were you not converted before you left Mr. Wesley?” They answered, “Yes, we had gone through a great deal of trouble, and found great peace and joy, knowing our sins were forgiven; but when we heard Mr. Molther, we found we were yet under the law: for he showed the privilege of the Gospel, and we found we had not such a privilege; for if we broke the law in any little matter, we were quite unhappy; or if we neglected to pray, or missed a sermon or two, then we were uneasy; but now we are happy, for the Lamb hath done all for us.” I said, “Though he hath done his part, yet the Apostle teaches us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling; and we are bidden to pray always, and search the Scriptures; and St. Paul fasted often, and kept his body in subjection, lest, when he had preached to others, himself should be a castaway. But you are become wiser than the Apostle, and have got another gospel: though he said, if he or an angel from heaven should preach another gospel let him be accursed. I am afraid you are deceived, and are seeking a happiness that is separated from holiness: if so, you are led away by a deceiving spirit; for if you commit sin, and break the righteous law of God, and still continue happy, without any conviction that God is offended with you, your consciences are seared as with a hot iron.”

They answered, “You are a poor unhappy man, and as blind as Mr. Wesley;” and so left me, without either praying with me or for me.

When I came to reason about what they had said, and to compare it with the words of our Lord and his Apostles, I saw their scheme of salvation was as contrary to that of Christ, as darkness is to light. This drove me to prayer, and made me double my diligence in reading the Bible.

In a few days after, two more, that were a little acquainted with me, came to see me: I asked them how Mr. Wesley was. They said, they did not know, for they did not hear him now. I asked, “Why do you not?” They replied, “He denieth the faith of the Gospel.” I said, “I am sorry for it; but I hope you are only wrong informed.” They answered, “We have heard ourselves.” I replied, “What do you call the faith of the Gospel?” They said, “Predestination and election.” I told them, I thought it was not the faith of the Gospel; but it was rather for every one to believe in his heart, that he is a fallen spirit, by nature a child of wrath, and by practice an heir of hell; and that the eternal Son of God out of love to me, a poor helpless and hell-deserving creature, laid his glory by, and for my sake fulfilled all righteousness, at last, giving his body for my body, and his soul for my soul; and that God, for the sake of his obedience and blood-shedding, hath forgiven all my sins. I said, “According to the light I have, this is the faith of the Gospel; and he that is a partaker of this faith hath received the Spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind; power to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to live a godly, righteous, and sober life.” I added, “Pray, under whom were you converted?” They both replied, “Under Mr. Charles Wesley.” “Did he then preach what you now call the Gospel?” They replied, “No.” “Did God then reveal that to you to be the faith of the Gospel, as soon as he wrote pardon on your hearts?” They said, “No; when we were in our first love, we believed as Mr. Wesley believes; but now we see better, and hope his eyes will be opened shortly.” I said, “I fear yours are become dim: for I think you are more light and unwatchful than you used to be; and you own you have lost your first love. O remember, Christ bids you repent and do your first works, or he will remove your candlestick!” But they told me, “Do what we will, we cannot finally fall.” I answered, that as far as I could learn by their words and behaviour they were already fallen: and I wished they did not make a Christ of their opinions; for though, I allow, many good men hold these opinions; yet I judge, all that were converted under the two Mr. Wesleys were at first filled with love to every man, and a perfect hatred to all sin, and were inspired with a zeal for God’s glory, and the welfare of all mankind.” Was not this your state once?” They owned it was, till they heard Mr. Sawyers; and it was by him they saw into the electing love of God. I replied, “I fear you have sinned against light and love; and instead of going back to the Lord, by true repentance, and seeking a fresh pardon in the blood of Christ, you have been gadding about to seek new opinions: you have gone out of the highway of holiness, and have now got into the devil’s pinfold: you are not seeking to perfect holiness in the fear of God, but are resting in opinions, that give you liberty to live after the flesh: and if you continue so to live, you are safe in his hold, out of which you will be brought to the slaughter.” They told me I was as stupid as Mr. Wesley. I replied, Satan had preached that doctrine to me before they did; and God had armed me against both him and them. Then they left me in my blind estate, as they called it; and I prayed that I might never turn out of the way that God had called me into.

On Sunday, I had the opportunity of hearing Mr. John Wesley once more; and his word was precious food to my soul. Then I blessed the Lord, that had still kept his servant, as an iron pillar, in the same spirit in which I left him. But I observed a great part of the congregation were strangers to me; for many of the old hearers were gone, and others come in. When I found that some had turned to the Germans, and some to the Predestinarians, I said, “O Lord, I will praise thee, for thou doest all things well: thou by thy Providence didst send me out of town when the enemy was rending thy flock to pieces, and thereby thy servant hath escaped the snare.”

A few weeks after, I was at St. Paul’s, where Mr. John Wesley also was: and I contrived to walk with him after sacrament: for I had often wished I could speak with him, therefore I seized this opportunity; so we continued in discourse all the way from St. Paul’s to the farther end of Upper-Moorfields; and it was a blessed conference to me. When we parted, he took hold of my hand, and, looking me full in the face, bade me take care I did not quench the Spirit. I had not such an opportunity again while I stayed in London, either with him or his brother; but I kept close to God by fasting and prayer; and the Lord helped me through many trials.

One night, after I had been delivered from grievous temptations, my soul was filled with such a sense of God’s love, as made me weep before him. In the night I dreamed I was in Yorkshire, going from Gomersal Hill-Top to Cleck Heaton; and about the middle of the lane I thought I saw Satan coming to meet me in the shape of a tall, black man, and the hair of his head like snakes: but I thought I was not afraid at all; and I said, “Stand by me, O Lord; and I will not turn to the right hand or to the left.” Yet I thought I would not stand to fight with him as I used to do. When he came within about five paces of me, he stood: but I went on, ripped open my clothes and showed him my naked breast, saying “See, here is the blood of Christ.” Then I thought he fled from me as fast as a hare could run.

I was still attacked by the Moravians on one side, and the Predestinarians on the other; but the Lord enabled me to stop their mouths, and to show them that they had lost their first love. Yet they seemed to be hardened, and past all conviction. And the more I read the Scriptures, the more I was confirmed that they were fallen into carnal security; which made me pray more earnestly that God would preserve me from all the snares of the devil.

About ten days before Christmas, I went to St. Paul’s; and while I was at the communion-table, I felt such an awful sense of God resting upon me, that my heart was like melting wax before him; and all my prayer was, “Thy will be done! Thy will be done!” I was so dissolved into tears of love, that I could scarce take the bread; and after I had received, it was impressed on my mind, “I must, go into Yorkshire directly.” But I said in myself, “If I do, it will be ten pounds out of my way.” I had determined to go at May-day; but I thought, to stay for the sake of money would be wrong, when I believed it was the will of God I should go. So I packed up my clothes, and set out. I found much of the Lord’s presence all the way I went; but I had no more thought of preaching than I had of eating fire.

When I got home, I was greatly disappointed; for I expected to find many of my relations converted, as I understood they attended Mr. Ingham’s preaching. But when I explained to them what it was to be converted, they said they never beard of such a thing in their lives. I told them, I knew those things by happy experience. But they begged I would not tell any one that my sins were forgiven; for no one would believe me; and they should be ashamed to show their faces in the street. I answered, “I shall not be ashamed to tell what God has done for my soul, if I could speak loud enough for all the men in the world to hear me at once.” My mother said, “Your head is turned.” I replied, “Yes, and my heart too, I thank the Lord.” My wife told me, she was ashamed to put her head out of doors, for every one was talking about me, and upbraiding her with my sayings; and she wished I had stayed in London; for she could not live with me, if I went on as I did: for which reason, she desired, that I would leave off abusing my neighbours, or go back to London. I answered, I did not care what all the people could say; for I was determined to reprove any one that sinned in my presence. Then she cried, and said, I did not love her so well as I used to do. I replied, “Yes, I love thee better than ever I did in my life and thou hast no reason to dispute my love; for I have been careful to provide for thee, whether I was at home or abroad: and we have been happy in each other upwards of twelve years; but if thou wilt seek for redemption in the blood of Christ, we shall be ten times happier than ever.” She then said, “Nay, my happiness with thee is over; for according, to thy words, I am a child of the devil, and thou a child of God,” Then she wept, and said “ I cannot live with thee.” I said, “ Why so? Thou shalt never want while I am able, by honest endeavours, to provide for thee. Nay,” I continued, “if thou wilt not go to heaven with me, I will do the best I can for thee; only I will not go to hell with thee for company. But I believe God will hear my prayer, and convert thy soul, and make thee a blessed companion for me in the way to heaven.” After this, my wife began to be concerned about the salvation of her soul.

A few days after I had got home, David Taylor came to preach in our town, in Mr. Ingham’s Society, when I went to hear him: and a dry morsel his sermon was. Several that were acquainted with him followed me, and wanted to know how I liked the discourse. I was backward to tell them, but they pressed hard on me, and said, “Do you not think he is as good a preacher as Mr. Wesley?” I said, “ There is no comparison between his preaching and Mr. Wesley’s: he has not stayed long enough in the large room at Jerusalem.” After they had been gone some time, they came again to ask what I meant: I said, “He is not endued with power from on high.” They went and related to him what I said; and he told me since, that if I had been present, he could have stabbed me; yet he could not rest till he went to hear Mr. Wesley in London. Then he found what was said was true; and he came down to Sheffield and into Derbyshire, preaching what he called, Wesley’s doctrine, and awakened and converted many scores of people, till the Germans got to him, and made him deny the law of God: then he became again as salt without savour.

I went afterwards to a meeting of Mr. Ingham’s, where one read in an old book for near an hour; then sung a hymn, and read a form of prayer. I told them that way would never convert sinners, and began to relate some of my experience; and several were struck with convictions while I was speaking, some of whom became witnesses of the same grace that God showed me.

In a little time all I said was noised abroad; and people of all denominations came to dispute with me. As soon as I came home from work, my house was filled with people, which made my wife uneasy; for she could do no work, and did not yet believe what I said was true. Generally when I came in and sat down, some one would ask me a question, and others would begin to dispute with me, while others stood by to hear.

When any began to cavil, I commonly asked, “What church do you belong to?” and if they said, the Church of England, then I replied, “Do you know your sins forgiven?” Several said, “No, nor ever expect to know it in this world.” Then I replied, “ You are no members of the Church of England, if you have not a full trust and confidence, that God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Read the Homilies of the Church, and you will see what I say is true.” I used to have the Bible and Common Prayer-Book by me; and I showed them the Articles of the Church, saying, “You deny inspiration; and the Church you profess to belong to, says, ‘ Before the grace of Christ, and the inspiration of his Spirit, no good works can be done.’ So if the Church speak rightly, you must be inspired by the Spirit of Christ, to enable you to bring forth good fruit, or you must be the fuel of hell. And how dare you to pray to have your thoughts cleansed by the inspiration of God’s Holy Spirit, if you do not believe there is any such thing to be attained in this world? O! do not mock God any more, by asking for things with your mouths when you do not believe in your hearts he will grant them.” But one said, “I have been with a very learned clergyman of a neighbouring church, and he told me, there was no such thing to be attained in this life.” I answered, “I think you have mistaken him, for I was at that church last Sunday, and heard him declare all I have said to you.” He said, “I was there, and heard no such thing mentioned.” I replied, “No! did you not hear him affirm, ‘that God had given power and commandment to his ministers, to declare and pronounce to his people, being penitent, the absolution of their sins?’ And he farther declared, ‘that God pardoneth and absolveth all those that truly repent, and unfeignedly believe his Gospel.’ Therefore, it is plain, you never did repent nor unfeignedly believe his Gospel, if God has not pardoned and absolved you from your sins. Else both he and all that are in priest’s orders in England are false witnesses before God and man. And how many times have you besought God to ‘give you true repentance; and to forgive you all your sins, negligences, and ignorances; and to endue you with the grace of his Holy Spirit, that you might amend your lives according to his holy word?’ And now you say, there is no such thing! Though you may remember Mr. R. said, ‘ Let us beseech God to grant us true repentance, and his Holy Spirit, that those things may please him which we do at this present, and that the rest of our lives may be pure and holy.’”

By these discourses, many were pricked to the heart, and durst not offer the sacrifice of fools any more: they prayed in good earnest that God would pardon their sins, and answer them to the joy of their hearts.

When any said, they were of the Church of Scotland, I asked them, if they did not know their sins forgiven. They told me, that they did not; nay, farther, they thought it presumption for any one to pretend to know it, or to expect such high attainments as I spoke of; and they told me I was a Papist, or I would not talk as I did. I answered, “I know not what you think of me; but I think you neither know what a Papist nor Presbyterian is; for your own mouths declare, that you are no members of the Church of Scotland. That Church disowns you; for none are allowed members thereof, but those that are effectually called. And they that are effectually called do in this life partake of justification, adoption, and sanctification. And the same Church saith, that justification is an act of God’s free grace, wherein he pardoneth all our sins; that adoption is an act of God’s free grace, by which we are received into the number, and have a right to all the privileges, of God’s sans; and that sanctification is the work of God’s free grace, whereby we are renewed in the inner man, after the whole image of God; and all that are so effectually called, do enjoy an assurance of God’s love, peace of conscience, and joy in the Holy Ghost. And I pray you, what have I said more? By your talking, you are the sons of Rome, and enemies to the true Protestant religion. Let me beg you to go home, and read the Assembly’s Catechism, and come and talk with me again, after you have read it.” Several of them did so; and came with tears in their eyes ; and are now witnesses, that God has power on earth to forgive sins.
I found it always in my mind not to let any depart that came to dispute with me, till we had prayed together.. The first that was brought to experience the redeeming love of Christ, was my own brother; and in a few days six of my neighbours.

My wife also was thoroughly convinced that she must experience the same work of grace, or perish. During the time of her convictions she was seized with a pleurisy, and her case was thought to be very dangerous. Then I besought the Lord for her with fasting and prayer. The next day she was worse; and the distress of her soul increased the disorder of her body, so that she seemed as if she could not subsist long. That night my house was filled with people, and none of them offered to dispute with me. I read several portions of Scripture to them, some out of the Old, some out of the New Testament, and compared one with another, and prayed with them. As I was in prayer, my wife being in the parlour, and within hearing, fainted, and was as if she had just sunk into the gulf of God’s judgments. Immediately she thought she felt the Lord Jesus catch her as she was falling, and lay his hand on her side where the disorder was, and bade her be of good comfort; telling her, “Thy sins are forgiven.” When I came to the bed-side, she was just come to herself, and said, “My dear, the Lord has healed me both in body and soul! I will get up and praise his holy name;” which she accordingly did. From that hour her fever ceased, and her heart was filled with peace and love.

Now God had raised up eight witnesses to himself in this place; and the enemies began to report, that I had forgiven such and such their sins, which made many come and talk with me.

One night I went to Adwalton, to hear Mr. Ingham preach. As soon as I got into the house, he called me into the parlour, and desired the company that was with him to go out, for he had something to say to me. When they went out, he rose up, barred the door, then sat down by me, and asked me how my wife did. When I had told him, he said, “Do you know your own heart, think you?” I answered, “ Not rightly: but I know Jesus Christ; and he knows and hath taken possession of it; and though it be deceitful, yet he can subdue it to himself; and I trust he will.” He said, “ Have you not deceived yourself with thinking that your sins are forgiven, and that you are in a state of grace? I was three years seeking, before I found Him.” I replied, “Suppose you were, do you confine God to be three years in converting every soul, because you were so long? God is as able to convert a soul in three days now, as he was to convert St. Paul 1700 years ago.” I then began to tell him what I had seen at London under Mr. Wesley’s preaching. He said, he pitied poor Mr. Wesley, for he was ignorant of his own state; and he spoke as if he believed Mr. Wesley to be an unconverted man; at which words my corrupt nature began to stir. But it came to my mind, “The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God;” and I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and my mind was calmed in a moment. He said, “ You ought not to tell people that they may know their sins forgiven; for the world cannot bear it; and if such a thing were preached, it would raise persecution.” I replied, “Let them quake that fear. By the grace of God, I love every man, but fear no man; and I will tell all I can, that there is such a prize to run for. If I hide it, mischief will come upon me. There is a famine in the land; and I see myself in the case of the lepers that were at the gate of Samaria, who found provision in the enemies’ camp, and, when they had eaten and drunk, and loaded themselves, said, ‘We do not well; for this is a day of glad tidings: let us go and make it known to the king’s household.’ When I found God’s wrath removed for the sake of his dear Son, I saw provision enough for my poor fainting soul, and for all the world, if they would come for it. I believe it is a sin not to declare to the children of men what God has done for my soul, that they may seek for the same mercy.” He told me, I had nothing to do with the Old Testament, or to make comparisons from anything that was in it. I answered, “I have as much to do with it as with the New Testament.” He replied, “ I would not have you speak any more to the people, till you are better acquainted with your own heart.” I told him, I would not in his Societies, unless I was desired; but what I did in my own house, or in any other person’s that requested me, he had no business with. I added, “I do not belong to you; and though I have heard you several times, it is no benefit to me; for I have experienced more of the grace of God than ever I heard you preach of it, or any one since I left London.”

Soon after Mr. Ingham came out and began to preach; when I was greatly surprised, for what he had forbidden me to do, he did directly: he told them that night, they must know their sins forgiven in this world, or go to hell, if all the devils in hell could pull them in.
I still went on at my own house as before, every night; and in about three weeks my eight were increased to seventeen.

As I was explaining Rom. vii., my mother fell into deep convictions, and cried, “ I am a lost sinner.” I went to prayer with her; and she neither ate pleasant bread, nor took natural rest, till she found redemption through the blood of Christ. Then she came to me with tears of joy, and said, “Thank God on my behalf; for he hath dealt bountifully with me. When thou wast a lad, I had more trouble with thee than any other child; but God has more than rewarded me for all my trouble, in that he has raised thee up to show me the way of salvation.” She lived about six months after, and then died in the triumph of faith. She was the first ripe fruit that God gave me of my labour.

Soon after, another of my brothers, my aunt, and too cousins, were converted; though still I did not attempt to preach, but read some part of the Scripture, then exhorted them to observe what they had heard, and so ended with prayer. And God wrought in a wonderful manner; for six or seven were converted in a week, for several weeks together. All this time I had no one to converse with, except such as wanted to turn me out of the narrow path; neither had I any correspondence with Mr. Wesley; but still I was as one set to labour in a field alone.

After some time, Peter Bohler came into Yorkshire, and laboured while Mr. Ingham went to London. I heard him, and he pleased me well; for at that time he spake to the purpose. When he had done, I went and took him by the hand, and thanked him for his wholesome exhortation. He asked me my name. I told him. He saluted me, and said, “My brother, I am glad to see you; for I have just now been talking with some that told me they were converted by you; and I like them better than any souls I have conversed with since I came into Yorkshire.” And he added, “I will call to see you when I come to Birstal.” So he did, and stayed with me all night, and encouraged me to speak on, and spare none. He added, “The Lord bath called you to labour in his vineyard; and if you do not labour, he will call you to judgment for it.” I told him, that Mr. Ingham had forbidden me; but he said, “He will be back from London in three weeks, then I will speak to him; for I know that God is with you; and I will call on you, whenever I come through this town.” So he did at that season; and his conversation was profitable to me; for he then spoke as contrary to the Moravians who are in London as black is to white. God blessed his word; for many were awakened by him at his first coming into Yorkshire.

When Mr. Ingham returned from London, he came to brother Mitchell’s in our town, and sent for me. He saluted me as soon as I came in, and desired me to sit down by him, and said, “John, I believe God has called you to speak his word; for I have spoken with several since I came back from London, who, I believe, have received grace since I went; and I see God is working in a shorter manner than he did with us at the beginning; and I should be sorry to hinder any one from doing good.” He said also to the brethren and sisters, “Before you all, I give John leave to exhort in all my Societies.” He then took me by the hand, saying, “John, God hath given you great honour, in that he hath made use of you to call sinners to the blood of our Saviour; and I desire you to exhort in all my Societies as often as you can.’

I did so; and many were struck to the heart, and were made to cry out, “Lord, save, or we perish!” So that nine or ten in a week were brought to experience the love of Jesus. Those that were of the Church of England, I exhorted to keep close to the Church and sacrament; and the Dissenters, to keep to their own meetings, and to let their light shine before those of their own community. But soon after, I learned, that Mr. Ingham advised the contrary, and several began to stay at home on the Sabbath; which made me very uneasy.

One night I had been disputing with several of them, about their neglecting the ordinances, and about their speaking against inward holiness, as we were going to hear Peter Bohler, at Charles Summerscales’. When he got up, he took two verses of the tenth chapter of St. Matthew’s Gospel:

“Whosoever shall confess me before men, him will I confess before my Father which is in heaven: but whosoever shall deny me before men, him also will I deny before my Father which is in heaven.” I thought if he had heard all that I had said, and had laboured to justify every word I had spoken, he could not have preached more to the purpose: for he said, to confess Jesus was to live to him, and to honour him with body, soul, and substance; and to deny him, was to live to ourselves, by refusing to do what he commanded, because it was not agreeable to nature, and did not make for our temporal interest. He added, “If any one did so much as to keep the tip of his little finger to commit sin with, it would damn both his body and soul in hell.”

My adversaries now hung down their heads; and complaint was made to Mr. Telchig, that Mr. Bohler preached Wesley’s doctrine; and he was sent to London soon after. He came back in three weeks’ time; but such a change for the worse did I never see in mortal man! for he that professed to love me as his own soul, durst not come near the door of my house, nor converse with me at all; and his word was as chaff; in comparison of what it used to be.

Then I saw what was coming on me, and the people God had given me. This made me weep in secret places before the Lord; and I desired to die, rather than live to see the children devoured by these boars out of the German wood. I saw many deluded by their soft words and fair speeches; and I thought I would exhort no more; for I was begetting children, and they slew them among the smooth stones of the brook; and they had better never have known the way of salvation, than, after knowing it, be turned there-out. But Samuel Mitchel urged me to speak, and not to spare. Yet I found great backwardness; and often said, when I went out, of my door, “Lord, thou knowest I had rather be hanged on that tree, than go to preach, but that I believe thou dost require it at my hand.” And many a time I have said, “Except some one be converted this time, I will take it for granted that I may leave off speaking in thy name.” But, O, the condescension of the Most High! For he so far bore with my weakness, that some were converted as sure as I asked the token. For all that, I acted the part of Jonah, and fled into the fields by a wood-side, when a great congregation was gathered together, and begged me to preach to them. But the hand of the Lord was upon me: and I fell flat on my face on the ground, and thought that if ever a living man tasted the cup of the damned, I did: I then cried out, “Let me die! let me die! for why should I live to see the destruction of my people? Or wherefore should I ever speak in thy name, and by thy word beget children for the slaughter?” I lay about an hour with my face on the grass: but, O, the anguish my soul was in! The sufferings of our Lord and his Apostles were brought; to my mind, those cup I had once desired at the Lord’s hands, But now, when it was in a small degree put in my hand, I chose rather to die than to drink it.

I now began to be ashamed before the Lord, when I considered how wonderfully he had dealt with me; so that the tears began to flow, and my heart was broken within me. Then I said, “I am not my own, but thine; therefore, thy will be done in me, on me, and by me.” In that instant the cloud broke, and the Sun of Righteousness arose on my soul: so that I cried out, “Lord, continue with me as thou art now, and I am ready to go to hell to preach to devils, if thou require it.” Then I came home, expecting the people to be gone; but they were waiting about the door of my house. I got up and preached to them, and that night two men declared that God for Christ’s sake had forgiven all their sins.

I thought, after I had done, if I had had ten pounds, I would have given them for one hour’s conversation with Mr. John Wesley; but I despaired of ever having an opportunity, except I went to London on purpose; and I said, “ I am not worthy of an upright man to converse with; therefore, I am encompassed about with briers and thorns.”

After some time, I was told, that there were twenty preachers come to the Smith-House; and that four or five of them were clergymen who had been with Mr. Wesley; but they were now convinced of his errors, and content to be poor sinners, and hoped I should see my error in a little time, and come to the brethren; for all of them, they said, had been as blind as I was, and as much bigoted to Mr. Wesley’s notions. I told them, that what they called light, I believed to be gross darkness; for it did not agree with what the Scriptures showed to be the way to heaven. One of their exhorters said to me, that there were several of the Moravian preachers that could write as good Scriptures as the Bible; that the very power which the Apostles had, did rest on the Moravian preachers. I told him, I did not believe a word of it: I believe them to be a fallen people; and I prayed God that they might repent, and do their first works. I said, “I am sorry for Mr. Ingham; for he never will do half so much good as he has done hurt, by bringing them into this country; for they do not labour to convert sinners, but to turn saints out of the way that leads to heaven.” But he said, it was I that was wrong, for they were the most experienced men in the world; and it was believed by many, that Count Zinzendorf was so familiar with the Lamb, that many hundreds who were now in hell would be saved by his prayers.

A few days after, they were to have a great meeting at Gomersal Field-house; and one came and told me, that Mr. Ingham desired me to be there. Accordingly I went, but could not get into the house where they were reading the letters, nor near the door, for the multitude: so I walked into the croft, where there were about two hundred people, who had gone from the door, because they could not hear; so I preached to them in the croft, while they read the letters within. I think there were five or six preachers, and four exhorters, and near a hundred people, who were looked upon as the chief of their Societies. Then Mr. Ingham stood up, and said, that the country people were surprised to see so many of the brethren come together; they thought it prudent not to have so much preaching, till they were settled awhile, for fear it should make them persecute the brethren; “and I desire that none of the young men will expound, till they are ordered by the brethren. We shall meet again this day month; and then we will let you know what we are all to do.” Then he spake to them one by one, and said, “I hope you will be obedient, and not expound any more till you have orders.” They all replied, “Yes, Sir.” He then turned to me, saying, “John, I hope you will leave off, till you have orders from the Church.” I said, “ No, Sir, I will not leave off; I dare not, for I did not begin by the order of man, nor by my own will ; therefore, I shall not leave off by your order: for I tell you plainly, I should have left off without your bidding, but that I believed if I did, I should be damned for disobedience.” He replied, “You see these young men are obedient to the elders; and they have been blessed in their labours as well as you.” I said, “I cannot tell how they have been blessed; but I think, if God had sent them on his own errand, they would not stop at your bidding.” Then one of the preachers said, “The spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets: therefore, they are right, and you are wrong; for they are subject.” I replied, “You are not obedient to the prophets of God that were of old; for God saith by one of them, ‘I have set watchmen upon the walls of Jerusalem, that shall not cease day nor night;’ but you can hold your peace for a month together, at man’s bidding.” Then, turning to Mr. Ingham, I said, “You know that many have been converted by my exhorting lately, and a great many are under convictions: what a sad thing then would it be, to leave them as they are!” He replied, “Our Saviour can convert souls without your preaching.” I replied, “Yes, or yours either: and he can give us corn without ploughing or sowing, but he does not; neither hath he promised that he will.” He said, “Be still one month, and then you will know more of your own heart.” I replied, “With one proviso, I will.” He said, “What is that?” I answered, “If you can persuade the devil to be still for a month; but if he goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, and God hath put a sword into my hand, I am determined to attack him, wheresoever I meet him; and wheresoever I meet sin, I meet Satan.” Some of them said, that their ears burned on their heads, to hear me speak to such a man as Mr. Ingham. I answered, I would speak to a gentleman as I would to a beggar, in the cause of God. Mr. Ingham said, “It must needs be, that offences will come; but woe to him by whom they do come.” I replied, “Sir, take care that your curse does not fall on your own head.” Then he charged all the people, as they loved him and the brethren, that they should not let me preach in their houses, nor encourage me by hearing me elsewhere. I replied, “I hope you will not hinder those who were converted under my word from hearing me; for they are my own children.” He said, they would hinder them; for they were none of mine, but our Saviour’s children. I answered, “I have as much right to call them my children, as St. Paul had to call the Galatians his; and if they perish by being turned out of the way through you, I will require their blood at your hand.” Then Mr. Clapham said, “May not I have some private conversation with John?” Mr Ingham answered, “Yes.” And Mr. Clapham said, “He shall be my teacher while I live.” So it was; for he died in the faith within a fortnight.

When I got home, there were several people at my house, waiting to be instructed in the way to the kingdom. One of them cried out, “What is the matter? Are you not well? you look so pale!” I said, “I have neither pain nor sickness of body; but my soul is disordered within me, for they have bereaved me of my children, and commanded them not to hear me before my face. O these treacherous dealers have dealt treacherously! I am sorry Mr. Ingham should be a tool in their hands, to turn the simple out of the way; but I hope he does it in ignorance: if he knows what he is doing, he will be a miserable man; for it is a less crime to take a child of God, and cut his throat, and thereby send him to heaven at once, than to turn him out of the way, and to destroy both body and soul. Nevertheless, let us pray for him and them.” So we went to prayer; and when we arose from our knees, I took the Bible, requesting God to speak to me by his word; I opened on Isaiah xlix. 19, “Thy waste and thy desolate places, and the land of thy destruction, shall even now be too narrow by reason of the inhabitants, and they that swallowed thee up shall be far away. Thy children which thou shalt have, after thou hast lost the other, shall say again in thine ears, The place is too strait for me; give place to me that I may dwell. Then shalt thou say in thine heart, Who bath begotten me these, seeing I have lost my children, and am desolate, a captive, removing to and fro? and who hath brought up these? Behold, I was left alone; these, where had they been?” At the reading of which words I and all that were in the house were so affected that we burst into weeping; and God gave me one child, in answer to my prayer, that night.

It was soon spread about that Mr. Ingham and Nelson had differed; and many said, “We shall now see an end of his new religion!” Several of them who once professed to love me as their own lives, now became my open enemies, and laboured to draw all from me they could. They said, I made my Bible my god! and would take it up in a scornful manner, saying, “This is John Nelson’s god. Poor man, he hurts himself much by reading in it: it would be better for him if he would let it alone, and abide by his heart.” Then I said, “ Woe is me, that my mother ever bare me, to be a man of strife to all that are about me; but, Lord, I commit my cause to thee.”

So I went on preaching repentance towards God, and faith in our Lord Jesus Christ; insisting that those who believed should be careful to maintain good works. But many that once said they might bless God they ever heard me, now called me legal, and told me to my face, that I never knew the gospel liberty, nor what it was to enjoy the poor sinnership. I replied, “I do not desire to know it: I only want to know the perfect and acceptable will of God, and power to do the same.” But they cried out, they had nothing to do, for the Lamb had done all for them.

After their next monthly meeting, one who had exhorted came and called me out of my house, saying he wanted to speak with me. I went out; when he told me the brethren had sent him; and they had the same power as the Apostles had: all that withstood them were soon miserable. I answered, “ What do you hobble at in your speech? If you came to tell me that they have given me up into the hands of the devil, speak out, Michael.” He said they had. I replied, “I hope I shall pray for them as long as I live; but do you go back and tell them, I have the devil under my heel, and he can never hurt me so long as I have the grace of God.”

Soon after, I met with another that had got into the poor sinnership, who held his neck on one side, and talked as if he had been bred up on the borders of Bohemia. He said, the brethren were sorry for me; nay, he heard some of them say, that they would take care of my wife and children. I told him, I would see my wife and children die on a dunghill, before I would sell my soul and the souls of my country people.

I still kept close to God by prayer and fasting, and was daily refreshed with a sense of his love; he also opened my mouth more and more to speak his word, so that sinners were daily converted. Samuel Mitchell encouraged me much, and went with me almost every night that I went out of town, often four or five miles, after we had done our work; and we used to come back together the same night in all sorts of weather.

One night, after a day of fasting, I dreamed that Mr. John and Mr. Charles Wesley were both sitting by my fire-side, and that Mr. John said, “I will stay but a few days now; for I must go into the North, and return at such a time and stay with you a week.” The next day, when I told it, one said, “If thou hast. dreamed so, they will certainly come.” I replied, “I no more expect them than I expect the king to come.” But in a few months after they came, and sat in the very posture I dreamed, and Mr. John Wesley spoke the very words.

I was desired once more to go to Gomersal Field-Head, to speak with Mr. Ingham. When I got there, David Taylor was with him in the parlour, and spoke kindly to me; but when Mr. Taylor was gone, he began to talk to me about making a division among the brethren. I told him, I did not want to make a division; I wanted the people to be saved. But he said, “We cannot receive you nor Mr. Wesley into our community, till he publicly declares he has printed false doctrine, and you declare you have preached false.” I said, “ Wherein?” He then burst out into laughter, and said, “In telling the people that they may live without committing sin.” I replied, “Do you call that false doctrine?” He answered, “I do, I do; and Mr. Wesley has written false doctrine, teaching the same errors.” He quoted some words; then I said, “They are not Mr. Wesley’s, but St. John’s words: it is St. John says, ‘Let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous: and he that committeth sin is of the devil.’ So, if St. John be right, every one that preacheth contrary to what Mr. Wesley has written here, and what I have preached, is a deceiver and betrayer of souls.” “ If that be your opinion,” said Mr. Ingham, “we cannot receive you into our church.” I replied, “I do not want to be one of you; for I am a member of the Church of England.” He answered, “The Church of England is no church; we are the church.” I said, “We! Who do you mean?” He replied, “I and the Moravian brethren.” I said, “I have no desire to have any fellowship with you or them: it has been better for my soul since I have been wholly separated from you; and God has blessed my labours more since I was told they had delivered me up to Satan, than ever before. Therefore I think it is better to have their curse, than to have communion with them.” He replied, “If you think so, I have no more to say to you,” and then turned his back on me.

When I went home, I met with one that had got into the liberty; and he told me that the devil had sent me into Yorkshire, to hinder the brethren from having the country to themselves. I answered, “If Satan sent me, he is divided against himself; for you know, by my preaching many that were grossly wicked are turned to live a righteous life.” He said, “No men should be damned but for their own righteousness;” and when I mentioned any scripture, he laughed me to scorn, saying, “You will never be happy till you leave off those scripture notions, and come to your own heart, and be a poor sinner.”

Now a trial came upon me from another quarter: some of them came to my house, when I was from home, and talked with my wife, stirring her up against me, so that she was tempted to go to them, and leave me; and the temptation was so strong, that she got out of bed three times to go to them. Nay, the more I reasoned with her from Scripture, in ever so loving a manner, the more she was set against me. Then I had none but my old refuge, to get to God by prayer and fasting; and the Lord took the matter into his own hand, and showed her wherein she had been deceived, and made her a staff in my band and a support to my soul again.

About this time one of my neighbours that used to hear me preach, was going to London, and said, “I shall be glad to see Mr. John Wesley, whom you call your father in the Gospel.” I replied “If you will carry a few lines to him from me, you may see and hear him too.” In this letter I desired Mr. Wesley to write to me, and, as he was my father in the gospel, to give me some instructions how to proceed in the work that God had begun by such an unpolished tool as I. When he got to London, he wrote to me, that he had seen Mr. Wesley, and gave him the letter; who read it, and asked him some questions about me, and said, “Do you write by this night’s post, and tell him I shall be at his house on Tuesday next, if God permit.” I got the letter on Sunday, and was melted into tears before the Lord.

That day the Lord blessed our souls much, while we were praying that he would conduct his servant safely to us, and bless his coming amongst us; but he was detained on the road, so that it was Wednesday at nine o’clock in the forenoon when he arrived at Birstal. He sent for me to the inn, from whence I conducted him to my house, and he sat down by my fire-side, in the very posture I had dreamed about four months before; and spoke the same words I dreamed he spoke.

Before he went to Newcastle, large companies of those that had left me, came to hear him; several of whom said, they never heard such a sermon in their lives, nor ever felt so much of the power of God under any man’s preaching.

Some said, when Mr. Ingham came first, he was often telling of this Mr. Wesley, saying, he believed he never talked with him but it was a blessing to his soul, and extolled him above any man that ever they heard him talk of; and now they thought he exceeded all that Mr. Ingham had said about him; but they were greatly surprised, that Mr. Ingham could go through Birstal, without calling to see Mr. Wesley.

When Mr. Wesley came from Newcastle, their minds were changed; for they did not come to hear him. I asked several of them the reason, and they told me Mr. Ingham declared he preached false doctrine, and it was not safe to hear him.
However, he did not preach in vain; for God blessed his word, and his coming was a great blessing to my soul. I said to him, “Sir, you may make use of Jacob’s words: ‘The children thou hast begotten in Egypt before, are mine:’ for I freely deliver them to your care.” After he had spent about a week, he left me: and now they that stayed with me were confirmed in the truth they had received; and many were convinced of the necessity of being born again; so that greater multitudes than ever came to hear, and several were converted.

One Saturday night, there came a number of people that were halting between the Germans and me; and as I preached to them, my mouth was almost stopped, and all the time it appeared to me as if I were ploughing upon a rock. Nevertheless, when I had done, and got to the fire-side, the people did not offer to go away, but stood as beggars that wanted a morsel of bread. I then took up the Bible, and opened on the Prophecy of Isaiah, where it saith, “I have blotted out thy transgressions as a cloud, and thy sins as a thick cloud; return unto me, for I have redeemed thee.” And I said, “Hear ye the word of the Lord!” So I read these words to them as I stood, and began to explain them, when the power of God came as a mighty wind, and many cried out, “Lord, save, or we perish!” I fell upon my knees, and called upon God to heal the bones that were broken, and to show mercy to the poor and needy: and he heard our cry, so that seven testified that God, for Christ’s sake, had blotted out their sins that night; and most of them told me, they purposed only to hear me that time, and to have gone to the Germans the next day.

Now the people from every quarter flocked to Birstal on the Sabbath; but as yet, there came only three from Leeds: Mary Shent, and two other women.

It was about May, when Mr. John Wesley came into Yorkshire, and towards Michaelmas that Mr. Charles Wesley and Mr. Charles Graves came. They stayed a few days, then went on to Newcastle, with an intent to return in a fortnight; but the Lord opened such a door in that place, that Mr, Wesley stayed some time longer. Mr. Graves came at the time appointed, and the Lord blessed his coming to several souls. I remember, he preached one night at Armley, and when he had done, I gave an exhortation; and the Lord applied the virtue of his precious blood to many souls that night; and for a whole week together, there were some that felt the atoning blood of Jesus Christ.

When Mr. Charles Wesley came back from Newcastle, the Lord was with him in such a manner, that the pillars of hell seemed to tremble: many that were famous for supporting the devil’s kingdom, fell to the ground, while he was preaching, as if they had been thunder-struck. One day he had preached four times, and one that had been amongst the people all the day, said at night, twenty-two had received forgiveness of their sins that day.

I think, from the time of Mr. Charles Wesley and Mr. Graves’ first coming, and their leaving Yorkshire, after their return from Newcastle, which was about a month, there were added to the true believers near fourscore. Then they began to cry out, “The place is too strait for us: we should have a greater house!” So that the words of Isaiah, which I opened on when the Germans bereaved me of my former children, were fulfilled.

About this time William Shent was converted: and there began to be an uproar in Leeds, about his saying he knew his sins forgiven. Some, however, believed his report, and had a desire to hear for themselves; neither could he be content to eat his morsel alone, for his heart panted for the salvation of all his neighbours.

The Christmas following, he desired me to go and preach at Leeds; but when I gave notice of it to the Society, they advised me not to go till we had kept a day of fasting and prayer. So we humbled ourselves before the Lord on the Friday, and on Sunday night I went to Leeds, several of the brethren accompanying me. As we were going over the bridge, we met two men, who said to me, “If you attempt to preach in Leeds, you need not expect to come out again alive; for there is a company of men that swear they will kill you.” I answered, “They must ask my Father’s leave; for if he have any more work for me to do, all the men in the town cannot kill me till I have done it.”

When we got to brother Shent’s, he had provided a large empty house to preach in, and it was well filled with people. As soon as I got upon the stairs, I felt an awful sense of God rest upon me; and the people behaved as people that feared God, and received the word with meekness.

Now the Armley Society became a nursing mother to the new-born souls at Leeds; for there were several steady souls at Armley, who had stood from the beginning without wavering; and I trust we shall meet together in heaven.

Some time after we had begun at Leeds, Mr. John Bennet, from Chinley in Derbyshire, came to our town, and sent for me to the inn: I did not know him, but by his dress I took him to be a preacher. I said, “I do not know you: pray what is your name?” He told me. I asked him, if he came from Mr. Wesley: he said, No. He was not in connexion with him; he was in fellowship with the Moravian brethren: but he had had a great opinion of Mr. Wesley for some time, till he saw a little pamphlet which Mr. Wesley had lately published, which he styles, “The Character of a Methodist,” and it turned his mind. I asked, “ Sir, what do you find wrong there?” He replied, “There is too much perfection in it for me.” I answered, “Then you think a less degree of holiness will fit you for heaven, than what is mentioned there: pray what are the words you stumble at?” On his telling me, I said, “They are the words of St. John.” But he said, “We know by experience that there is no such thing to be attained in this life.” I replied, “If your experience does not answer to what St. Paul and St. John speak, I shall not regard it” and when I mentioned some passages of Scripture, he did not believe that what I said was Scripture. I pulled out my Bible, and showed him the words; and when he had read them, his countenance changed, and he cavilled no more.

When we met again, we seemed to be of one heart and judgment; for God revealed his will to him soon after he had parted with me, and made him an instrument to turn many to righteousness, and to bring me and my brethren to preach in Lancashire, Cheshire, and Derbyshire.

The first time I went, he met me at Marsden, to conduct me into Cheshire; but as I went over a great common, a little behind Huddersfield, a dog leaped out of the heath, and came and smelled at my leg, and walked by my side for near a mile: he then went to the houses that were a little out of the way, and bit several dogs, and came running after me again, and walked by my side till he saw another house, where he fought with a dog; then followed me again. Thus he went on for about five miles, and went with me into the inn at Marsden, when he sat down by my side. There were several men in the house, whom I asked, if any of them knew whose dog that was; but none of them could tell. I said, I think he is mad; but they laughed me to scorn. Soon after, another dog came in, and he went and bit him directly, and ran out, and bit four more; and then the men pursued arid killed him. When I saw that God had kept me in such imminent danger, I was greatly humbled before him.

As Mr. Bennet and I went over to Stanedge, we met David Taylor, who had got so much into the poor sinnership, that he would scarcely speak to me: he called Mr. Bennet to a distance, and said, he was sorry that he as going to take me into Derbyshire; for I was so full of law and reason, that I should do a great deal of hurt wherever I preached.

I preached twice that afternoon; once at Hopkin-pit, in Lancashire, and the other time at Woodley, in Cheshire. It was given out, unknown to me, for me to preach at Manchester-Cross on the Sunday in the afternoon. About ten people went with me from Mr. Lackwood’s to Manchester. When we arrived there, I do not know but there might be two thousand people gathered together at the Cross; and most of them behaved well. But when I was in the middle of my discourse, one at the outside of the congregation threw a stone, which cut me on the head: however, that made the people give greater attention, especially when they saw the blood run down my face; so that all was quiet till I had done, and was singing a hymn. Then the constable and his deputy came and seized me and Mr. Bennet, and said, “You must go before the Justice.” I asked, “ By what order?” He held up his staff, saying that was his warrant and he would make me go. I answered, “I will not resist; for if I have done any thing contrary to the law, I ought to suffer by the law.” He said, I should suffer for what I had done; then he began to strike the people that crowded about us. As soon as he and his deputy could get through the multitude, they out-ran us: when I called and said, “Stay, gentlemen; for we cannot get through the people as fast as you.” But the people crowded about us in such a manner, that we saw the constable no more. Afterwards we rode to Jonathan Holmes’s. That night we had a blessed meeting; and the Lord was much with us all the time I stayed in those places.

Soon after, Mr. John Wesley came into Yorkshire again; and the Lord blessed his coming to many souls. When he set out for Newcastle, he desired me to go to Grimsby, in Lincolnshire, and to spend a few days there, among some people that had once run well, but were turned out of the way by one that had come down from London, who had got into the poor sinnership, and was made free from the righteous law of God, and from all ordinances and good works. He brought many of them into his own liberty; so that they sold their prayer-books, left off reading and praying, and followed the motions of their own minds, which they called the Lamb in their hearts: but one or two remained under the law, as they called it; that is, they still continued to read the Bible, and durst not leave off prayer, nor any other ordinance that Christ had appointed. These came to Epworth to seek the pure Gospel: and when they heard Mr. Wesley, they said, “his word was as sweet wine to a thirsty soul.”

I set out with a great sense of my own weakness, and was ready to turn back: then I opened my Bible where these words were written, “I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the ground.” I cried out, “ Lord, give me strength and understanding for the work, if thou hast called me to it.” I opened my book again, on Isaiah xiv. 1, “The Lord will have mercy on Jacob, and will yet choose Israel, and set them in their own land, and the strangers shall be joined with them.” That night I came to Epworth, and preached to a large congregation.

Next morning, I and a man that belonged to Grimsby, and a boy about twelve years of age, set out on foot for Grimsby; but night came upon us when we were five miles short of it, and, there being no public-house near, we went to several farm-houses to ask for lodging, but could get none. Then we went to a poor house, where I prevailed with the people to let the boy lie with two of their own boys; and I said to the man, “Let us go and seek a bed somewhere else, or a stable to lie in.” As we went on in the dark, we saw a light at a small distance, and we went over a field to it. I knocked at the door, and they bade us come in: there were four men, three women, and two boys, sitting by the fire. As soon as I entered, I said, “Peace be to this house;” at which words the people started up as if I had thrown fire at them. I said, “‘We are two way-faring men; and if you will entertain us for a night, we will satisfy you.” They got us a good supper, and made up a good bed. I talked to them about the way of salvation, and went to prayer with them; and they were so affected, that the master and the mistress talked to me two hours after we were in bed. The next morning, after breakfast, I went to pay the woman; but she said her husband charged her to take nothing, but, on the contrary, to give us some money to support us on the road; but I replied, “Not one farthing will we have; and if you will not take our money, I pray God reward you with everlasting consolation!”

We then went where we had left the boy, and paid the people for him, and set out for Grimsby, which we reached by ten o’clock. The people soon heard that I was come, and flocked to me directly, when I prayed with them, and began to exhort; but many of them despised my words, saying, I was too legal for them. I then took up my Bible, and said, “Hear ye the word of the Lord!” So I read two or three verses, and bade them try themselves by that standard: then I read in another place, and said, “If you will compare your consciences with these scriptures, you may see what state your souls are in.” One woman turned pale, and began to tremble, saying, “ I clearly see we are deluded, and that what we called the Lamb in our hearts is nothing but the devil.” Then she cried out, “Alas! alas! what must we do?” We went to prayer again, and God made the kingdom of Satan to shake once more in that place.

The second night a schoolmaster sent me word that he would give me leave to preach in his school, which would hold several hundreds of people: but those that had fallen into the poor sinnership, told me, if I did, they durst not go to hear me; for they should be mobbed, and I should be killed. I said, “As the gentleman has made me the offer, I will accept it, and, by the grace of God, will preach if there were as many devils in it as there are tiles on it.” Accordingly I went, and it was well filled from side to side, and the people behaved well; I found great liberty in speaking; and when I had done, several cried out “This is the way of salvation!”

When I came back to brother Blow’s, those that had been shorn of their strength confessed their fearfulness, and said, “While we continued in the spirit in which we were converted, we were as bold as lions. O! what shall we do to recover our strength?” I told them to humble themselves before the Lord with prayer and fasting, and he would snatch them out of the snare of the devil, and give them back their first love.

I preached again the next morning, and set out for Epworth. In my way I stopped at Perry, where I preached at four in the afternoon, and got into Epworth by seven that evening.

When I came there, so large a company were gathered together, that I could not get into the house, nor yet one third of the people, though it was dark and snowed: however, I desired them to hand me out a chair: so I stood up in the snow, and preached, and they behaved as well as ever I knew a congregation in my life; and it appeared that God blessed his word to many souls that night.

When I returned home, I found God had opened the mouth of Jonathan Reeves, and blessed his word to numbers about Birstal; and we laboured together for some time, till I returned into Mr. Bennet’s circuit.

I went into the Peak to preach at Monyash, when a clergyman, with a great company of men that worked in the lead-mines, all being in liquor, came in just as I began to give out the hymn. As soon as we began to sing, he began to halloo and shout, as if he were hunting with a pack of hounds, and so continued all the time we sang. When I began to pray, he attempted to overturn the chair that I stood on; but he could not, although he struck so violently with his foot, that he broke one of the arms of the chair quite off. When I began to preach, he called on his companions to pull me down; but they replied, “No, Sir; the man says nothing but the truth. Pray, hold your peace, and let us hear what he has to say.” He then came to me himself, took me by the collar of my shirt, and pulled me down; then he tore down my coat cuffs, and attempted to tear it down the back; then took me by the collar, and shook me. I said, “ Sir, you and I must shortly appear at the bar of God, to give an account of this night’s work.” He replied, “What! must you and I appear before God’s bar together?” I said, “As sure as we look one another in the face now.” He let go my throat, took my Bible out of my hand, and turning it over and over, said, “It is a right Bible; and if you preach by the Spirit of God, Let me hear you preach from this t